Origami helped me out of my depression.
I hadn't realized this until now because I hadn't really given much thought into it. It was my way out whether I admit to it or not. Of course, it wasn't the only way out but it did help me in more ways than I give it credit for.
My love for origami was borne out of depression.
I still remember the darkness that filled deep within me back then. Feeling no emotions whatsoever and the longing urge and the need to kill myself. Those were some pretty dark times.
I still remember the feeling of worthlessness always living inside my head and constantly crippling the littlest self-esteem that I had.
The feelings of inferiority, brokenness and hopelessness were the only feelings I could feel back then.
I still can't believe that I did crawl out of that insanely deep pit lurking in my mind constantly reminding myself that I was worthless, that I would never be good enough, that I didn't deserve to live.
But I did heal myself. By first realizing that I suffered from depression from several of the online tests that they offer, I began my healing process; the process of collecting and binding all the broken pieces of me.
Origami is something that came out of that process of self-care. I started learning new ways to make things out of paper and actually started sharing those little pieces of myself in the form of folded paper to the people I love. Since it was an easy skill to learn and an easier one to improve, I could see myself feeling whole again. I was regaining my self-esteem and hope with every folded piece of paper I made.
I am not saying that origami was the most important factor to pull me out of my depression; there are so many that I still can't wrap my head around, let alone write or talk about. But I felt like I needed to share this; to open up a small hole to the memory that has completely locked that part of me, the part of me who completely changed my life. The part of me who has made me who I am today.
Origami, a skill that made me believe in myself again, lighting the fire within me that said that I still could be good at something, that I wasn't worthless, that I could still start over into a better and hopeful future, that I still possessed the innocent and creative part of me somehow restored my faith in myself to be a better person.
I guess the reason I don't involve in origami these days might be due to the memory intricated with the skill and now I believe it is high time that I changed that.
I hadn't realized this until now because I hadn't really given much thought into it. It was my way out whether I admit to it or not. Of course, it wasn't the only way out but it did help me in more ways than I give it credit for.
My love for origami was borne out of depression.
I still remember the darkness that filled deep within me back then. Feeling no emotions whatsoever and the longing urge and the need to kill myself. Those were some pretty dark times.
I still remember the feeling of worthlessness always living inside my head and constantly crippling the littlest self-esteem that I had.
The feelings of inferiority, brokenness and hopelessness were the only feelings I could feel back then.
I still can't believe that I did crawl out of that insanely deep pit lurking in my mind constantly reminding myself that I was worthless, that I would never be good enough, that I didn't deserve to live.
But I did heal myself. By first realizing that I suffered from depression from several of the online tests that they offer, I began my healing process; the process of collecting and binding all the broken pieces of me.
Origami is something that came out of that process of self-care. I started learning new ways to make things out of paper and actually started sharing those little pieces of myself in the form of folded paper to the people I love. Since it was an easy skill to learn and an easier one to improve, I could see myself feeling whole again. I was regaining my self-esteem and hope with every folded piece of paper I made.
I am not saying that origami was the most important factor to pull me out of my depression; there are so many that I still can't wrap my head around, let alone write or talk about. But I felt like I needed to share this; to open up a small hole to the memory that has completely locked that part of me, the part of me who completely changed my life. The part of me who has made me who I am today.
Origami, a skill that made me believe in myself again, lighting the fire within me that said that I still could be good at something, that I wasn't worthless, that I could still start over into a better and hopeful future, that I still possessed the innocent and creative part of me somehow restored my faith in myself to be a better person.
I guess the reason I don't involve in origami these days might be due to the memory intricated with the skill and now I believe it is high time that I changed that.
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